Rambling on in confusion of love.

Some times I just don't feel like I deserve Janine. I guess I don't deserve her and its only by Gods grace that she is a part of my life to begin with. That's some thing that I need to remember. I really need to stop taking Janine for granted and I need to show her love the way God shows me.
Some times I feel like Janine is mad at me over nothing, but its always a deeper issue than what the problem seems to me like it is. I'm so far from perfect and I wish I never made her mad or upset over anything. It pains me when I know that I've hurt her. whether its a little issue or something bigger I HATE to make her unhappy. I love her so much more than I knew I was capable of loving any person.
I need to really focus on God and then Janine, in my life. I feel so far away from God some times. If I were half of who I wish I could be I would have a consistent daily prayer time and all would go well in my relationship with Janine. Some how God still loves me even when I fall short of loving Him and his people. And for some crazy reason so dose Janine. I could not ask for more than that.
Long distance relationships only get harder over time, The closer you get to some one the more you want to be with them. I wish I could have a regular relationship, but I wouldn't trade mine with Janine for a closer one with any one else in the world. Some times I don't know if she believes that, but I mean every word of it. Since there is no perfection in the world I need to thank God for what I have. Thank Him for love at all even in my imperfection.

"Consider is pure joy my brothers when you face trials of man kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

So I should really be full of joy in spite of trial. What would life be with no trial though. Thank you God for love even the rough parts of it.